Top 10 Reason Why Doom 4 SUCKS
10) It’s slow. And I mean really fuckin’ really slow. It’s clearly designed to sell to the casual console crowd. I mean just look at this shit. In the old Doom games you could circle strafe around a dozen enemies at a time, you could run 60 miles an hour. It wasn’t realistic but boy was it was fun. I mean Why do you think people keep putting out mods for the original games? People really liked that style of gameplay. In a genre now saturated with Halo and Call of Duty why couldn’t we get something fun again?
9) And the enemy count. Are you fucking kidding me with this? How many enemies do you think you can fight at once in Doom 4? In the old games you could have dozens on screen. Do you think your gonna get that Shit Tech 6? I highly doubt it.
8) And another thing the graphics. Holy shit do they look muggy. I mean say what you want about Doom 3 at least it looked good at the time. Too bad Carmack is too busy playing with his rocket or selling out to Facebook or maybe we could of gotten a decent engine. This disgusting film grain look is less detailed then the one seen in Silent Hill 3 and that game was on the PlayStation fucking 2.
7) The weapons oh god where do I even begin. The plasma rifle shoots at such a ridiculously slow rate it’s not even funny. And the super shotgun, y’know the most iconic weapon of Doom 2, feels like a pea shooter here. Congrats on the rocket launcher. That’s not a complete fuckup. It just fires to slowly and is under-powered. Actually I take that back, it’s a failure.
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6) Oh nice design on doom guy by the way. Taking the shittiest aspects of Halo’s Master Chief and just slapping it on as a character skin was a real great decision. Top job guys. Beers all round. You could of just literally just used the same design from the early games since no one cared about the plot. But you didn’t did ya?
5) Okay we’re really getting down to it now. You want to know why Doom 4 is shit? Because it went the Doom 3 route. Tiny fucking maps. With bland over-stylised scenery. And an overdone focus on interactivity rather than quality combat. Well done guys you fucked up this franchise once again.
4) Talking of Doom 3 being complete shit. Do you remember the PDA from that game? That was swell wasn’t it? Having to fuck about in menus rather than actually playing the game.Well guess what bitches it’s back. Oh and you know what else they included tutorials in it. Awww does the call of duty crowd need to stop their game every 5 minutes so they can figure out how to play.
3) Oh talking of console shit do you like how the weapon takes up half the screen.? No one needs to be able to see these levels right? Also do you enjoy those checkpoint markers and mission objectives fam? Cos nothing screams hardcore FPS more than this hand holding right guys.
2) You know they had like 15 years to get this game right? I was really hoping for something demonic brother, but we’re probably not gonna get that. There’s probably gonna be some DLC shit that’ll be tacked on. Expansion packs, it’s not like they didn’t do that before. There’s gonna be a mass shooting. My prediction there’s gonna be a mass shooting and a white guy’s gonna do it. And then the feminists are gonna come after it. Here’s the number one reason why this game is banned in Australia. I mean why it will suck.
1) But you know what really takes the cake? Doom 4 could of been great and instead it acts as the final nail in the FPS genre. That is of course unless you want to play your Call of Duty HD remakes till the end of time. Well I’m done.You can join on Twitch if you like whilst I stream this abomination. But in the meantime go ahead and subscribe to hikikimori media he did the announcer voice for this video.