Holy Mini-Golf Batman!
Geekery and sports are not often terms that coincide, nor, for this geek, is the idea of heading out at night time to a bar, but that’s exactly what I did last night. Surrounded by a small band of trusty pop culture nerds, I set out to the new Holey Moley in Northbridge, Western Australia’s, capital of the clubs. Holey Moley hasbeen dubbed the craziest round of mini golf ever and has recently opened on the West Coast. This phenomenon holds cult status on the East coast, it’s no wonder we had to book in a time well in advance.
As an unseasoned city nightlife dweller, I was unusually late to meet the merry band of Paris Burns Cosplay and 8 Bit & Over, having circled the block a few times in the hope of finding a place to park my little white Corolla, “Serenity”. Not unusually so, Melanie Doust was also late.
Whilst waiting for Mel, the three of us hung around the outside of this unassuming location. Once an English pub, the Tutor Revival façade drew the eye for the second time by the number of neon plastic golfing visors on the heads of the patrons sloshing their stereotypicallyAmerican ‘red cups’ around outside.
Upon arrival of the final member of our troupe, the four of us ventured inside where we were met by a ‘caddy’ in a fluoro golfing shirt, outrageously Hawaiian printed skirt and matching visor. We’d opted for the eighteen-hole drive, involving two rounds of nine. We were given tokens with which to claim our balls from a gumball machine and told to brandish the cub of our choice and begin. Hole 1, Par 3, featured robots, dinosaurs and a dynamic attempt on my part to see just how far over Par I couldachieve.
Our very own Dude, 8 Bit & Over so appropriately dressed, slayed The Big Lebowski round. Despite my 80’s inspired garb, I was the only putter who failed to sink her hole into the tail pipe of the DeLorean from Back to the Future. Mel stuck her head into the mouth of Jaws and declared loudly and emphatically “nope, nope nope” when confronted with reaching under the derelict crib of a possessed baby. The team chillaxed on the iconic Simpson couch, awaiting our turn to take on the Iron Putter Throne where all but 8 Bit earned the right to sit and pose on the coveted seat.
Here we rested, taking a half-time break to enjoy the bar and lounged in a golf cart. Paris, after earlier declaring she wasn’t a fan of sweet drinks, browsed the expansive cocktail list before opting for a Sugar Caddy cocktail, delightfully decorated with rainbow lollies. Having refuelled, we moved on to round two. Here the games became less about skill and more about the thrill with pulleys, mouse trap-esque systems and trick shots.
8 Bit owned the night, followed by Mel with Paris and myself rounding out with an impressive draw for last place. Whilst Holey Moley, at night, is most definitely more bar than mini-golf and was packed to the rafters with the typical sticky floors clubs are known for, it’s one hell of an experience and well worth the effort to head out and enjoy.