Top Times in Cinema Being Around Water was Murder-y
We need water to exist, it’s soothing to listen to, necessary for survival and we are comprised largely of it. It’s not always our friend though. Throughout cinematic history, it repeatedly demonstrates it gives no f*cks. Here are some of the top times it didn’t pay to be on or near the water. Follow along as we take an insightful look at why water is not always the best place to be. That being said, all of these films have made it onto my rewatch list time and again. I would love to float in the water and watch all but the Titanic which is really just here to poke fun at.
1. Jaws (1975)-Singlehandedly responsible for the destruction of an entire generation’s bravery in the water, the giant man-eating shark still holds a major spot here. The title for the biggest water-fear instilling film belongs right here. Despite the fact that this shark decided it was snack time repeatedly, Police Chief Brody (Roy Scheider) and a plucky oceanographer brave the waters. Ultimately they triumph but not before Jaws first takes bites out of every boat encountered near Amity Island.
2. Titanic (1997)– While this one may not have been fictional, it deserves a spot. Jacks heart most certainly will not be going on after Rose hogs their makeshift floatation device. Who knew that taking an inaugural trip with a new vessel near icebergs was a bad idea?
3. Clash of the Titans (2010)– The only thing that is worse than ticking off the gods, is ticking them off while being in the Kraken’s home territory. Well played people, well played. While this is most definitely CG heavy and not historically accurate to the beast, there is no denying fishing in its waters would be something to do with caution. Poor Perseus gets metaphorically kicked in the gnads on repeat throughout this film just for being the son of Zeus. Cinematic history seems to tell us that being a demi-god gets you nothing but trouble in life.
4. Deep Blue Sea (1999)– A research facility in the middle of the ocean with genetically enhanced sharks contained within, there was never any room for that to go wrong was there? Pseudoscience and genius ensue here as the company has also built their research facility dead in the center of their test subjects’ home territory. In my head, I picture the sharks like Pac-Man and people, the little dots. I have to say, this team of folks truly deserved what they got. Except for Preacher (LL Cool J), he just wanted to feed everyone and chill with his bird.
5. Lake Placid (1999)– I am fairly confident 1999 was the year we were all destined to become aquaphobic. This film features a lonely old lake dwelling Betty White as an aside. She’s wonderful comic relief. The crazy old coot feeds 150-year-old Asian Crocodiles casually until their appetite becomes a little more interested in people than her cattle. From there, it’s a hop skip and a jump to sex-crazed teens and fishermen gobbled up like Scooby Snacks. I’m not sure there is any amount of sex or salmon worth risking those waters.